Monday, January 30, 2012

water water everywhere, and not a drop to drink

I am still ruminating about water. Clean water, polluted water and the food chain. The U.S. and France began blasting nuclear bombs July 16, 1945. There have been several nuclear subs scuttled as well as nuclear waste dumped out in the oceans of our planet. Lots of other gunk is dumped as well ~ out of sight out of mind. So, I would unhesitatingly guess I must have some sort of contamination in my body, just from eating and breathing over the last 50 something years. Great, now what to do?
I did read that if you take Modifilan-a brown seaweed supplement, it would boost your immune system and remove heavy metals and other toxins. You have to make up your own mind as to what you want to do with your health, what to eat, drink, or not. It is worth thinking and researching about what damage has been done to our planet and what we as individuals can do about it.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

     I was sitting in traffic this morning, half listening to the radio. A life insurance commercial was blabbing on, when I heard "The dream is out there, go get it." I looked at the car ahead of me and saw a bumper sticker ~ Hope. Spirit had just sent me a message of inspiration.
     Yesterday was a truly awful day, I felt angry and disillusioned for really no reason. I was completely shattered by the time I left work.  My son and a friend reported they had the same sort of day.  I wonder if the solar flares hitting the earth yesterday had something to do with it?  Frustration and yes, anger over feeling that the world has gone to hell in a hand basket probably played a part in the yesterday's mood as well. The political landscape never changes does it   >: (   ...  Today seems to be a much better so far.  A good nights sleep will do wonders for a person's constitution.
     Neptune will cross over into Pisces next week. This is a generational passage, not seen since the American Civil War. Neptune will be at home in the watery sign of Pisces. The state of water on our planet should come to the forefront of our attention ~ Drought, cleanliness, flooding, tsunami, Fukushima nuclear waste dumped into the ocean and soon the flotsam will be hitting the Pacific shores of the U.S.
“Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs.
I am haunted by waters.”
― Norman MacleanA River Runs Through It and Other Stories

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Finding Your Balance

     Early morning, drinking my latte', meditating upon my creative passion.  It is still quite dark outside, it is the quiet time of my day with little distraction.
     As a Libra, finding and maintaining my balance is essential to my happiness.  In my previous blog, I asked what is a girl to do; living a singular modern life and wanting to pursue my passion full time. The bottom line is I need money to support my minimalistic lifestyle.  I do not want to be a starving artist, living in some rat hole or on the street.  In this self inquiry, I took a step back and looked at my life objectively.  I am living in balance.  I do have a career that creates money.  It pays enough to live on without having to work holidays, evenings, overtime, or weekends.  It supports me, and gives me time to actively pursue my passion for art.
     I know that I am ready to make a move, but also know that I  have to continue being patient.  I enjoy structure and security, but know that somethings gotta give.  Soon, a long and blessed section of my life will be coming to a close, and then it will be time to re-boot, up date my program.  So, at this time it would behoove myself to be open to unexpected grace.  To trust that life will support me while I pursue my passion. Be an advocate for my possibilities rather than my limits.  Love ~ C

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Feminine Archetypes

Artemis ~ Greek Goddess ~ Vatican museum, Rome, Italy

     My mind has been spinning its wheels (normal for me), thinking about archetypes and how they relate to me and my modern life; and how I can use an archetype to complete my internal story. My search for a feminine archetype relates to my study of the 13 original Clan Mothers, and women throughout history who have inspired me. I have always enjoyed reading biographies of women and the passion which inspired them to create a new viewpoint in our world.
     Artemis represents the maiden, mother, and crone. She was the archetypal woman who "ran with the wolves."  She did not need a relationship with a male to define herself, knew her own power but didn't use it in a power hungry way. Artemis was independent, strong, trusted her intuition, and protected the innocent and nature. She knew she could take care of herself, and was the personification of the independent feminine spirit.
     A more modern archetype for me is Georgia O'Keefe. I absolutely worship her, her lifestyle, and most especially her artwork. In 2004, I vacationed in Santa Fe and Taos, visited her museum, saw where she lived, and photographed the vast New Mexico desert which inspired O'Keefe to create her famous paintings. She was able to find a way to live her life on her own terms, independently creative. There are other women I could name: Maya Angelou, Emily Carr, Jane Austen, Jane Campion, Clarissa Pinkola Estes ... well, I could go on, and I am sure you could come up with a couple whom inspire you too.
     The archetypal stories found in ancient myth, sagas, religion etc., influence our internal psychology in our dreams, soul life, the creative process. Jung defines an archetype as an inherited pattern of thought or symbolic imagery derived from the the past collective experience and present in the individual unconscious. 

"Within every woman there is a wild and natural creature, a powerful force, filled with good instincts, passionate creativity, and ageless knowing.  Her name is Wild Woman, but she is an endangered species.  Though the gifts of the wildish nature come to us at birth, society's attempt to "civilize" us into rigid roles has plundered this treasure, and muffled the deep, life-giving messages of our own souls.  Without Wild Woman, we become over-domesticated, fearful, uncreative, trapped." Clarissa Pinkola Estes ~ Women who Run with the Wolves.
     I have been haunted by a wisp of dream memory, which urges me to find a way to make my living as an artist. I fight with my need for security found in a clerical job, knowing that logically to jump off a cliff would not be a good thing financially. So I look to archetypal women who achieved their dream, and made a living from their passion. The women that I named above had a benefactor, inherited money, or husband, a source of support that allowed them to work all day in their studios. Having none of those, what is a girl to do? I have to pay the bills. Their archetypal strength inspire me to continue to paint, and walk the mystical artists life.  I hope one day to have a breakthrough and find a way to finance my passion. I suppose you could call this a pity party, but it is my reality as well. I have successfully raised my son to adulthood with little help. Now that he is nearly ready to leave the nest, I am thinking that I will at last have the freedom to pursue my passion.
     If you have a dream, it was put there for a reason.  Love ~ C

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Trevi Fountain - Neptune

     Deep change has been afoot within my subconscious for a couple years, most of which involve acceptance and love for myself. Lately, the very foundation of my inner security has been shaken to the core by events beyond my control, but have hit me in a very personal way. It has forced me to review my ideas of who I am, whom I would like to be; and that perhaps it is time to come out of the closet ~ so to speak.  It has been a period of inner growth, an honest self-examination, which has produced a deep and profound change in the way I operate in the world.
     As a young woman, I would adjust my persona to fit in with the group. My need to be accepted had me living my life as a chameleon. It was a safe and secure way to fit in with society. I did not know my truth, because my truth was deeply hidden in the back closet of my shadow self. Over the years and after many lessons presented to me by my acquaintances, I learned to be myself. Walking a daily path of one's inner truth can be difficult and involves a great deal of inner security.  
     Though it has been difficult, the greatest gift my mother has given me has been my freedom. She raised me to be independent in the way I walk the world. She performed a final release a couple years ago, which forced me to realize I needed to get my shit together. I did and am, thanks mom. Part of this release and growth has also included a look at my ancestry, who these people were, and the archetypal patterns which continue to influence my extended family now. I am quite proud of my heritage (Mayflower), the sturdy self reliant stock from which my DNA is made of, and utilize that courage to explore and go beyond social structures to be what I want to be.
     In essence, I have been cultivating emotional independence. It has involved distancing myself from people and situations which do not nourish me. This has been a rather painful process. One in which I would not recommend for the faint of heart. It can be related to the solo journey, out on the hill on vision quest, where it is only you, the elements, and God. After three days of fasting and praying, hopefully a vision has been presented to you. Your inner and outer being are balanced, steadfast in the knowledge of what it is you are meant to do and be in this lifetime. It is walking your talk. It is walking the good red road.
Love ~ C    

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Living The Mystical Life

mys-ti-cal; adjective: inspiring a sense of spiritual mystery, awe, fascination: the mystical forces of nature. Concerned with the soul, or the spirit, rather than with material things.

          A phrase jumped out at me the other day while cruising the internet.  "Living the mystical life and bringing it into ordinary reality."   It is a shamanic idea, to access or channel non-ordinary reality in order to gain insight into our daily lives. To shnuffle the wind with your wolfish nature and catch the scent of something unusual coming your way. Alerting to symbols or events that continue to pop up, begging for notice. Applying spirit into everyday matters, which will open the door between the two worlds, and assist you in making a dualistic world more balanced and whole.
           Neptune has been popping up on my radar the last couple days, so I began diligently researching my natal Neptune, and Neptune's current transit. Neptune will arrive in its home sign Pisces in February, and live there over the next 18 years. Neptune is generally associated with dreams, visions, escapist pleasures and addiction, non-ordinary reality. My natal Neptune is conjunct my mid heaven, Sun, Venus, and Mercury. For me, it is sort of like getting inspiration from higher source and channeled into my art, poetry, and this blog.
          An archetypal descriptive for Neptune could be the soul longing for home, a home you barely remember but can never forget. A deep longing that dreams into the world as artistic expression. It is that remembrance of something so beautiful that paint and musical notes can only barely touch. It is that acute and exquisite inner angst, which all creative people are intimately acquainted with.
          Neptune is associated with water. Our bodies cannot live without water, our fetal body lives in a watery womb until born, 50 to 70% of our bodies are made up of water. Water is symbolically the emotional content of our soul. When we dream of water; flushing toilets (ridding ourselves of emotional content); the ocean, lakes, or streams (stormy or calm); crying; rainstorms and the rainbow after; all are symbols our soul uses in the dreamworld to speak to us about our emotional nature. Avoiding your feelings is like letting your emotional well go dry.
          I sort of strayed from the point, but... I wanted to illustrate why we need to be alert to spirit speaking to us in whatever subtle form spirit wants to manifest to you. To live the mystical life, one must act as a shaman. Walk through your day and act as a conduit of spirit, for yourself and those with whom you have contact with. Daily life contains experiences of coincidence, deja vu, a song in your head that won't go away, an intuitive hunch, dreams. These are all instances of spirit trying to contact you. I would guarantee that if you payed more attention, your life will be much fuller and richer in emotional and creative experience.
This indeed, is living the mystical life. Love ~ C

Monday, January 9, 2012

Astrology and the Inner Experience

     I don't know about you but 2011 left me feeling pretty beat up. I do hope this new year is better. However, it is 2012 and all the possible attendant stuff that might happen to our world, as predicted by astrologers, psychics, Maya, Native Americans, doomsdayers yada yada. Just the thought of it makes me feel tired, a little frightened and want to hide in a cave.
     My inner knowledge that on some level my soul contracted to be here at this time and place, keeps me fascinated and involved. Maybe (if you believe in reincarnation), I was once a Mayan priest and really wanted to be here and observe the star alignments. Well... why not? ; )  Perhaps I wanted to be here, to observe the moment when the earth, solstice sun, and the Galactic Core are in precise alignment; as we flip over to another round of 26,000 years. This alignment will last for something like 18 years. As tired as we might feel, it ain't over till the angels sing Hallelujah.  
     Astrologically speaking, I have been experiencing transiting Saturn, exercising his will on my 5 Libra planets and then hit me up in about a years time for a 2nd Saturn return. Come on baby, hit me one more time. That old curmudgeon Pluto has been conjunct my Ascendant for several months and he will spin his wheels for a little while longer. I would like to thank both of the dark lords for my education in all matters of the emotional and mental kind. You know, the kind of sticky stuff that just won't go away until you finally deal with it. I am learning to speak my truth, stand my ground in spite of the massive guilt I feel when I am dealing honestly with others. Let me assure you, not everyone wants to hear what you need to say. I feel like I am finally getting close to being my authentic self, and that is good thing. It is an amazing thing to hear the voice of authority in your child self mind; and finally say no, I am going to do it my way thank you very much. Women are trained from the womb, to place others first and play nice socially. Well, that's social sexist political training.
     Also, on another astrological note, I would like to give a heads up to a couple events coming up this year. Watch for May 20 through end of June, probably some sort of announcement, news, unveiling of a lie. I don't know what, just watch for something big that could create a huge shift. Also, Mercury goes retrograde on the day of the American presidential election. The last time this happened was in 2000, and Bush won via the Supreme Court intervention.
     So, there ya go. Peace be unto your hearts and always and forever walk the good red road.
Love, C

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Stardate ~ The Quest for the Grail

     Here we are, on the threshold of 2012. Heralded and trumpeted as the end all, be all, make or break of human civilization as we know it. Seriously? Did the ancient Maya obsess about sin and doomsday? I have to ask you to contemplate that question. If John Jenkins and Jose' Arguelles hadn't written about their research, would 2012 just be another year? The sin obsessed evangelical Christian culture would prefer to see 2012 as doomsday; using the apocalyptic vision of St. John in the Book of Revelations, and the old testament to promote their agenda.  I would also argue the point with the New Age community and their prophecies of ascension into the 5th dimension; or those who think that a benevolent Alien race from the planet Niburu will save us all. Most certainly, there are some people making loads of money off the doomsday aspect of 2012. I would ask my readers to please be a little sceptical.
     I agree, our world is frightening and chaotic. Instant news via the internet and social media, brings events from around the world to our attention within seconds. Making it all seem so immediate and personally implicated in our lives. Yes, there is so much wrong in the world. We have become a world-wide culture of me first selfishness; the one with the most toys and money wins the rat race; murdering the innocent for your religious beliefs.
     Our challenge is to make a difference on a collective and personal level, and pay attention to what you are doing. What is the personal story that you dream and create in your mind. Do you think kindly of others? Do you pay a kindness forward? Do you recycle? Do you take time each day to lovingly connect with your innermost self and realize how truly fabulous you are?
     We are on the threshold of a personal odyssey every moment of our lives. It is a constant meditation to pay attention, and consciously advance our personal and collective lives. Yes, you will catch yourself thinking mean thoughts, road raging,'s okay, observe it, forgive yourself, and move on. That is your personal quest ~ walking every day in a conscious manner. Every morning begin your day by setting your intention. Ask or pray to Spirit, to help you in your quest to walk your talk, that your speech and actions are in alignment with peace and loving kindness.  Are you ready to step across the threshold and create a new archetype for yourself? That is the evolutionary step we all must take. That is the quest for the Grail, which is found in all of our hearts.
Love ~ C