Thursday, November 29, 2018


I walked out the door yesterday, closed down my web site. I do not feel sad nor happy, just glad to not have to worry over it anymore. I will keep this little blog site, post my paintings and stuff. Downsizing is a good thing, and less expensive. I am toying with the idea of a word press website, but not sure if that is necessary.

Here is my newest art work. I haven't named it yet. It is about flying in a dream, daydream, journey, above the treetops with the birds. Freedom, a lightness of being.

I created stencil designs on my Illustrator program, jpg'd them in Photoshop and cut them out with my Silhouette machine. I found out there is such a thing as re-positionable stencils (sticky on one side). The large bird, shaman, tree tops, leaves, and clouds are stencils. The support is an 18" x 24" cradled birch wood. I positioned the stencils and then gessoed around them, and began to paint.
My original thought was to use a gel stain on the wood where the stencils had been removed to expose the wood. But the gel was too red and didn't vibrate with the blues and greens, so went with a black and that worked. I wanted a wood block feel to the piece.
Because I gessoed around the stencils, there is an edge around it, giving it a nice textured feeling of depth. The dots also give it a feeling of depth.
The dots are my homage to Seurat and Aboriginal artwork.

There was a soft whisper in my minds ear this morning, counseling me that time is a slow flowing river. I owe no fealty to any man or king. I am free to do what I want to do within the laws of the land and society. I swore to my self in another time and place that someday I would be free; and in this lifetime I have accomplished that. It was like an echoed remembrance of a lifetime, which was chained to a woman's existence, predicated upon the Laird and antiquated ideas promoted by the priesthood. Anyway, thats what I think. I have often had a visualization of at least a couple lifetimes where that misery existed for my soul.

Be free if you can, downsize, don't sweat the small stuff. Pay attention when your spirit guide speaks to you. Love ~ C

Thursday, November 1, 2018

Mundus Imaginalis

"Solfeggio Awakening"
Digital Fine Art
Adobe Illustrator, Photoshop, Fractal

This morning whilst working on my root chakra via binaural beats. . .
Have you heard of that? Binaural beats uses the solfeggio tones combined with subliminal suggestions. I have been using this system to work on my Akashic records, anxiety & fear, creativity, chakra balancing, and auric cleansing. It does keep the monkey mind at bay and I get a general sense of well being after about 20 minutes of listening.

Back to this mornings journey... I was listening to root chakra balancing and cleansing on the youtube meditative mind channel. I began to journey and found myself having a talk with an Aboriginal man; we meet from time to time in my journey work. We were talking about modern civilization, the bloody carnage on the streets of America and elsewhere, how humans were losing their minds, forgetting who we are as spiritual beings. He suggested to walk away from the modern worlds clutter and reclaim who you are; this needs to be done everyday. Unplug. For at least 20 minutes.

I have also been reading the work of Dr. Sharon Blackie, an Irish writer, psychologist, mythologist. Her blog is outstanding and her new book "If Women Rose Rooted," is really worth reading. Here is a link to some of her work: 

We are missing the mundus imaginalis, we have lost our selves in the chaos and our soul longs for, thirsts for, the soul life which has been abandoned as something archaic and old fashioned. We forget that we are as old as time; the immortal soul has an important part to play in our daily lives.
 I have been preparing stencil drawings via my Illustrator software in readiness for the new piece I have in mind. There will be a flying female shaman, birds, treetops and stars. I got my Birch wood cradled 18" x 24" board, she is sitting on my easel waiting for me to begin. I have ordered some repositionable stencils - it has a sticky back. When that arrives I will be able to cut my stencils and begin to work on the board. I have in mind to create a negative space, where the wood grain shows through. Can't wait to begin.

Be safe, be aware of your outer and inner environment and don't forget to switch off from the chaos.
Love, C

Thursday, October 18, 2018

The Rusty Heart

I need to do something kind, nourishing, loving for my self ~ my soul life. I find my self too isolated, alone, adrift in an ocean of circumstance of my own making. I miss my tribe.

I am taking steps to remedy my pain, my heart has grown rusty from neglect. Spirit whispered in my ear that my heart has weakened and needs to be fed with drumming, artwork, sunshine, and my tribe.

I have contacted a local drumming group and hope to join their drumming circle. That is where I should find the beginnings of a social circle that fits my soul need for like minded companionship.
Also, I bought a cradled birch panel (18" x 24") and plan to begin a new painting. An idea has been sitting on my heart for about a week. I feel inspired when out walking, by the bright colors of fall. I see lime green against cobalt blue sky, blue green leaves turning yellow, red, orange, and brown. Lots of birds, but the trees mostly. I dream of floating through space, buoyed by the wind, arms outspread, the birds are my companions as I seek the path back to my heart.

I wish you all well, may you find peace and loving kindness in your life.
Love ~ C

Saturday, October 6, 2018

Sympathy for the Devil

"Baba Yaga"
digital fine art, fractal, photoshop, illustrator

        It is early Saturday morning, the sun has not yet lit the sky. Rain, blessed rain has finally arrived and begun to quench the thirsty land. The smoky air has been washed clean, the fires are out. Some of the deciduous trees are turning color, some have even begun to lose their leaves. It is early fall. My birthday is around the corner, a Libra, yes. I love this time of year, when the air is crisp and the harvesting of crops are in full swing.

I am exhausted from following the events surrounding the Supreme Court nomination. At a certain point, I knew that the fix was in, this man would sit on our highest judicial bench. To be fair, I did read up on his judicial background and know that he has a lot of experience, and many people admire him. Yet, I have to temper that with the hostile scene he created before the judicial committee.

The #metoo movement will continue despite the crusty old white men in black suits whom are plainly out of step with the rest of the world; hell bent on keeping their power, furthering the extreme right's agenda.

The balance to this can be found in the news that happened on the same day. Always amazed to see the hand of the I Am That I Am. The Nobel Peace Prize winners: Denis Mukwege and Nadia Murad, whom won for their efforts to fight the end of sexual violence in armed conflict and as a weapon of war.
"To the survivors from all over the world, I would like to tell you that through this prize, the world is listening to you and refusing to remain indifferent. The world refuses to sit idly in the face of your suffering."

There was also the news of Chicago police officer who was convicted of 2nd degree murder for pumping 16 bullets into Laquan McDonald. Justice was served here me thinks.

Women's voices will not be silenced; the oppressed will continue to fight for their causes.
Love ~ C

Post Script
It came to me last night, that perhaps I had just witnessed a great evil. This event could be likened to a horror movie or some Stephen King novel, where the main character is "bought" by Satan and its cult following, to fulfill their dark mission.
That character stood at the crossroads and sold his soul for his own craven longings for power. At a party later, Satan itself is seen embodied in the leader of this cult, eyes glow momentarily, the cult swirls around leader in a dance, glittery, drinks in hand, congratulatory, big money has changed hands, the deed has been done.
The main character realizes that he has sold his soul to the devil, but pushes the thought away, and becomes a husk inhabited by darkness and avarice;
and the Master of Puppets will play him like a red violin.

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith

And I was 'round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

. . . Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer

Cause I'm in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste

Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah

~ K Richards & M Jagger

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Sexual Politics

I have been very immersed in what is going on with the #MeToo movement, the President of the USA and his sexual politics, and now the Supreme Court nominee. I have been thinking a lot about the stuff that happened to me, the other girls and women I have known. How women are made to feel: nasty, dirty, slutty, ashamed... And then, there is the wink and a smile for the boys and men; oh well, boys will be boys. Nothing is ever said or done to them.

And then there are the women who castigate and shame other women, "why was she walking alone at night," "look at what she was wearing," "next thing you know she will be coming after your man." And then there is the hypocritical religious right, whom will look the other way from some mans predations in order to further their own agenda (Roe v Wade), keep women out of power, make sure they are kept barefoot, pregnant and at home where they belong; and then go to church on Sunday as if to make it all right if they praise Jesus and say 12 Hail Mary's.

How does anyone, woman or man, heal the giant hole in their heart and soul, restore the innocence that the predator took so cunningly away?
In all this self searching, reflection, I have found the only way is to find forgiveness for the little girl who didn't know to tell her mother and father what had happened to her. I have yet to figure out how a tiny little girl would know things about boys; where in the hell did that come from? and... perhaps I don't want to know, I will just leave that as a blank space in my memory. I am savage with myself for being so stupid when I was a teenager. Feel so full of pain for the lonely woman she became.

I spent so much time looking for love; and only found abuse, thrown away, abandoned. I suspect my early years shaped the sort of man I looked for when searching for "the one" who would make all my dreams come true. And now, I search no more, there is just no point. I would rather be alone than risk my heart again. I am happy, with my artwork, son, cottage, garden, job, and my little kitties.

This morning, I watched a video with Joni Mitchell singing about the throw away women in Ireland, the Magdalene Laundries. It says it all.

In grief for all the little girls and boys who suffered sexual abuse. Love ~ C

I was an unmarried girl
I'd just turned twenty-seven
When they sent me to the sisters
For the way men looked at me
Branded as a jezebel
I knew I was not bound for Heaven
I'd be cast in shame
Into the Magdalene laundries *

Most girls come here pregnant
Some by their own fathers
Bridget got that belly
By her parish priest
We're trying to get things white as snow
All of us woe-begotten-daughters
In the steaming stains
Of the Magdalene laundries

Prostitutes and destitutes
And temptresses like me
Fallen women
Sentenced into dreamless drudgery
Why do they call this heartless place
Our Lady of Charity?
Oh charity!

These bloodless brides of Jesus
If they had just once glimpsed their groom
Then they'd know and they'd drop the stones
Concealed behind their rosaries
They wilt the grass they walk upon
They leech the light out of a room
They'd like to drive us down the drain
At the Magdalene laundries

Peg O'Connell died today
She was a cheeky girl
A flirt
They just stuffed her in a hole!
Surely to God you'd think at least some bells should ring!
One day I'm going to die here too
And they'll plant me in the dirt
Like some lame bulb
That never blooms come any spring
Not any spring
No, not any spring
Not any spring

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

patio perfect!

I completed my patio paint project this past weekend. Cement is absolutely uncomfortable to kneel and sit on for hours; I muscled through it and have completed the painted cement pad - 10' x 12'. I have to get "skirts" for the bottom of the posts to hide where they tie into the cement, which will be painted white. Working on my house and garden has been all consuming.

I watched a video lecture from the National Museum of Art this morning re Monet and his garden. Lots of inspiration there; although in the interest of water conservation, my garden won't be as full of flowers and water as his.

Now that this is done, I can move onto other projects. I really would like to get the back patio garden area completed. It is semi-private, and needs some live green walls and envined trellises to escape the neighbors windows. Cover up the hard weed filled earth with pea gravel and "decorated" pavers. Thinking about using some of my more celtic inspired stencils I have used in my paintings to apply designs onto plain 10' x 10' gray pavers. That should tie in to my patio and give it my personal artistic touch.
Love ~ C

Monday, August 27, 2018

Weekend Project

Hello readers of my little blog ~

I have been working on various "art" projects around my new house.

I decided to stencil a painted "carpet" on my back patio; and tore out the derelict wood deck; the wood will be re-purposed to other projects. Cleaned and primed the concrete which is sorta like priming a new canvas. Purchased a couple stencil's from Royal Design Studio, and began to stencil the design. First of all... really make sure you have off loaded any extra paint from the brush or roller, as it will seep under the stencil. I am having to go back over the separation lines with a brush and white paint to clean up the under-seepage. Is that a word?
It is looking really good so far; and will take another weekend (or two) to complete. Yes, I will post a photo of the finished patio.

I am including photos of before and during of my patio painting process. Yes, the grass is not growing. That is on purpose as I am intending on putting in pavers and gravel. Much easier than mowing. This past weekend was so wonderful. The smoke lifted and the air was breathable, the birds were singing, the neighborhood was alive with the sound of children's voices.

I am also contemplating getting rid of my accompanying web site, and just continue on with my blog. I can still post my artwork along with my thoughts and it won't cost me as much. I don't know, just thinking about it at this point.

Please take care of yourselves. The world is a little scary at times. However, fortitude and resiliency in the face of fear is your best companion. Love C