Saturday, October 6, 2018

Sympathy for the Devil

"Baba Yaga"
digital fine art, fractal, photoshop, illustrator

        It is early Saturday morning, the sun has not yet lit the sky. Rain, blessed rain has finally arrived and begun to quench the thirsty land. The smoky air has been washed clean, the fires are out. Some of the deciduous trees are turning color, some have even begun to lose their leaves. It is early fall. My birthday is around the corner, a Libra, yes. I love this time of year, when the air is crisp and the harvesting of crops are in full swing.

I am exhausted from following the events surrounding the Supreme Court nomination. At a certain point, I knew that the fix was in, this man would sit on our highest judicial bench. To be fair, I did read up on his judicial background and know that he has a lot of experience, and many people admire him. Yet, I have to temper that with the hostile scene he created before the judicial committee.

The #metoo movement will continue despite the crusty old white men in black suits whom are plainly out of step with the rest of the world; hell bent on keeping their power, furthering the extreme right's agenda.

The balance to this can be found in the news that happened on the same day. Always amazed to see the hand of the I Am That I Am. The Nobel Peace Prize winners: Denis Mukwege and Nadia Murad, whom won for their efforts to fight the end of sexual violence in armed conflict and as a weapon of war.
"To the survivors from all over the world, I would like to tell you that through this prize, the world is listening to you and refusing to remain indifferent. The world refuses to sit idly in the face of your suffering."

There was also the news of Chicago police officer who was convicted of 2nd degree murder for pumping 16 bullets into Laquan McDonald. Justice was served here me thinks.

Women's voices will not be silenced; the oppressed will continue to fight for their causes.
Love ~ C

Post Script
It came to me last night, that perhaps I had just witnessed a great evil. This event could be likened to a horror movie or some Stephen King novel, where the main character is "bought" by Satan and its cult following, to fulfill their dark mission.
That character stood at the crossroads and sold his soul for his own craven longings for power. At a party later, Satan itself is seen embodied in the leader of this cult, eyes glow momentarily, the cult swirls around leader in a dance, glittery, drinks in hand, congratulatory, big money has changed hands, the deed has been done.
The main character realizes that he has sold his soul to the devil, but pushes the thought away, and becomes a husk inhabited by darkness and avarice;
and the Master of Puppets will play him like a red violin.

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith

And I was 'round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game


. . . Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer

Cause I'm in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste

Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah

~ K Richards & M Jagger

https://youtu.be/ZRXGsPBUV5g

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Sexual Politics



I have been very immersed in what is going on with the #MeToo movement, the President of the USA and his sexual politics, and now the Supreme Court nominee. I have been thinking a lot about the stuff that happened to me, the other girls and women I have known. How women are made to feel: nasty, dirty, slutty, ashamed... And then, there is the wink and a smile for the boys and men; oh well, boys will be boys. Nothing is ever said or done to them.

And then there are the women who castigate and shame other women, "why was she walking alone at night," "look at what she was wearing," "next thing you know she will be coming after your man." And then there is the hypocritical religious right, whom will look the other way from some mans predations in order to further their own agenda (Roe v Wade), keep women out of power, make sure they are kept barefoot, pregnant and at home where they belong; and then go to church on Sunday as if to make it all right if they praise Jesus and say 12 Hail Mary's.

How does anyone, woman or man, heal the giant hole in their heart and soul, restore the innocence that the predator took so cunningly away?
In all this self searching, reflection, I have found the only way is to find forgiveness for the little girl who didn't know to tell her mother and father what had happened to her. I have yet to figure out how a tiny little girl would know things about boys; where in the hell did that come from? and... perhaps I don't want to know, I will just leave that as a blank space in my memory. I am savage with myself for being so stupid when I was a teenager. Feel so full of pain for the lonely woman she became.

I spent so much time looking for love; and only found abuse, thrown away, abandoned. I suspect my early years shaped the sort of man I looked for when searching for "the one" who would make all my dreams come true. And now, I search no more, there is just no point. I would rather be alone than risk my heart again. I am happy, with my artwork, son, cottage, garden, job, and my little kitties.

This morning, I watched a video with Joni Mitchell singing about the throw away women in Ireland, the Magdalene Laundries. It says it all.

In grief for all the little girls and boys who suffered sexual abuse. Love ~ C

I was an unmarried girl
I'd just turned twenty-seven
When they sent me to the sisters
For the way men looked at me
Branded as a jezebel
I knew I was not bound for Heaven
I'd be cast in shame
Into the Magdalene laundries *

Most girls come here pregnant
Some by their own fathers
Bridget got that belly
By her parish priest
We're trying to get things white as snow
All of us woe-begotten-daughters
In the steaming stains
Of the Magdalene laundries

Prostitutes and destitutes
And temptresses like me
Fallen women
Sentenced into dreamless drudgery
Why do they call this heartless place
Our Lady of Charity?
Oh charity!

These bloodless brides of Jesus
If they had just once glimpsed their groom
Then they'd know and they'd drop the stones
Concealed behind their rosaries
They wilt the grass they walk upon
They leech the light out of a room
They'd like to drive us down the drain
At the Magdalene laundries

Peg O'Connell died today
She was a cheeky girl
A flirt
They just stuffed her in a hole!
Surely to God you'd think at least some bells should ring!
One day I'm going to die here too
And they'll plant me in the dirt
Like some lame bulb
That never blooms come any spring
Not any spring
No, not any spring
Not any spring
https://youtu.be/ATaFyIbd5hY




Tuesday, September 18, 2018

patio perfect!

I completed my patio paint project this past weekend. Cement is absolutely uncomfortable to kneel and sit on for hours; I muscled through it and have completed the painted cement pad - 10' x 12'. I have to get "skirts" for the bottom of the posts to hide where they tie into the cement, which will be painted white. Working on my house and garden has been all consuming.

I watched a video lecture from the National Museum of Art this morning re Monet and his garden. Lots of inspiration there; although in the interest of water conservation, my garden won't be as full of flowers and water as his.

Now that this is done, I can move onto other projects. I really would like to get the back patio garden area completed. It is semi-private, and needs some live green walls and envined trellises to escape the neighbors windows. Cover up the hard weed filled earth with pea gravel and "decorated" pavers. Thinking about using some of my more celtic inspired stencils I have used in my paintings to apply designs onto plain 10' x 10' gray pavers. That should tie in to my patio and give it my personal artistic touch.
Love ~ C




Monday, August 27, 2018

Weekend Project

Hello readers of my little blog ~

I have been working on various "art" projects around my new house.

I decided to stencil a painted "carpet" on my back patio; and tore out the derelict wood deck; the wood will be re-purposed to other projects. Cleaned and primed the concrete which is sorta like priming a new canvas. Purchased a couple stencil's from Royal Design Studio, and began to stencil the design. First of all... really make sure you have off loaded any extra paint from the brush or roller, as it will seep under the stencil. I am having to go back over the separation lines with a brush and white paint to clean up the under-seepage. Is that a word?
It is looking really good so far; and will take another weekend (or two) to complete. Yes, I will post a photo of the finished patio.

I am including photos of before and during of my patio painting process. Yes, the grass is not growing. That is on purpose as I am intending on putting in pavers and gravel. Much easier than mowing. This past weekend was so wonderful. The smoke lifted and the air was breathable, the birds were singing, the neighborhood was alive with the sound of children's voices.

I am also contemplating getting rid of my accompanying web site, and just continue on with my blog. I can still post my artwork along with my thoughts and it won't cost me as much. I don't know, just thinking about it at this point.

Please take care of yourselves. The world is a little scary at times. However, fortitude and resiliency in the face of fear is your best companion. Love C






Thursday, August 9, 2018

"Greensleeves - Samhain"
18" x 24" acrylic, decorative paper on board

Obviously, I have not written in my blog for a great long while. A lot has happened... I have been really busy, isn't that what everyone says? I moved to a rather wonderful little cottage with enough land surrounding it to plant a small garden. The renovations have kept me artistically happy, and now know how to tile a backsplash and bathroom; build raised garden beds, dig up and replace a drain pipe, lay in a gravel pathway, and so much more to do.
I adopted two kitties from animal shelter hell. Besides the yowling at night, I rather like them and think they have decided that maybe their new human is okay too.

It has been very smokey outside with all the forest fires on the west coast. My little mountain valley is surrounded by at least 6 fires and the smoke is horrible. I have to wear a mask when I go outside. I even had an evacuation notice; that was chaotic! The kitties didn't want to go in their carrier and bit the crap out of my arm (two weeks of antibiotics) and then, I mean have you ever had to evacuate? You look around the house and see all your stuff and have to decide what to take, say goodbye to all that will burn up... it is not a good scene, believe me. In the midst of the chaos, I got a second call from the emergency services to downgrade to a shelter in place... OMG ! Don't ever want to go there again.
I've quit a lot of things = Etsy, Zazzle, Facebook. Just didn't want to deal with it all anymore. I have yet to update my website... not looking forward to the coding involved with that, but must move on mustn't we.

It was weird to me to see who has been viewing my little blog, and see a lot of Russians looking at me. I don't know, maybe you are trying to hack me? Really, you need to find someone else more worth your while... this is small potatoes and won't get you anywhere. I don't have anything political or financial you want. Just saying and.. you can fuck off.

Because I have been so busy with the house I haven't worked on my art for quite some time. I have dabbled here and there. But then, if I think about it, well yes, I guess I have turned out a couple pieces. I have been studying a new technique ~ pourable acrylics and creating cells with silicone. Very intriguing. I have been experimenting on cheap canvas boards until I feel I have it down enough to use a more expensive cradled board. I am hoping to use that sort of spacey flowing fx with my cut paper to come up with something beautiful.

I promise, I will write in a more timely manner.
I pray that all awaken from this crazy dream and see it for the nightmare we have become. Look up from your electronic devices and "see" someone, engage in a meaningful conversation, engage in your soul life, practice ecology, and realize that the shadow must be balanced with the light.
All My Relations ~ Love C

"Finding Balance in the Midst of Chaos"
24" x 24" Acrylic and decorative paper on cradled board

Monday, August 22, 2016



I spent the entire weekend in a shamanic world. I uploaded an audio book (love audio books) ~Jose Luis Stevens "Awaken the Inner Shaman." Lots of work with the inner shaman ~ very thoughtful journey work included with the teachings, which teaches how to work with your shadow; guides to how to operate in this world of illusion we live in; and now have an idea pointing me towards a new painting. I am about half way through with my year long course work with the "Year of Ceremony" group ~ about 3000 of us from all over the world. It is so cool to connect with shamanic practitioners from Sweden, Ukraine, UK, Australia... We are all working so hard to bring balance to this chaotic world we live in. This is not "woo-woo," it is deep shadowy gunk that needs to be brought out into the light and healed. Would you not agree that our world is becoming increasingly fragmented and every little thing, we as individuals can do to bring balance back, is infinitely better than hatred and fear? I would challenge you, dear reader, to consider what it is you can bring into your daily life that would make our daily lives a little better. It can be as simple as a sincere smile ~ I see you.

I listened to the entire book saturday and sunday, and worked on my altar boxes. I believe that when you work on artwork, music, writing ~ well, anything creative you are sharing with the world; whatever it is you are listening to, feeling, stressing over, enjoying... is infused into your work.
For me personally, I can look at one of my completed pieces and know exactly what it was I was thinking or feeling at the time. It is like my personal time capsule.

It follows that whomever looks or listens or reads that creative piece will feel on a subtle level what it was that the artist was thinking, the inner catalyst infusing the I AM with the artistic soul. It is a marvelous type of healing, or hatred, or whatever...  One must be careful to walk your talk. Nothing can be done that does not touch on someone or many someones. The whole ripple in the pond effect.

It is all cosmic, we are connected whether we want to believe it or not. So, it must be decided within your heart how you want to carry yourself in the world. What you say and do matters.  Heart, compassion, healing, in the face of fear, hatred, and absolute evil. It is the only way to be; otherwise, you are lying to yourself ~ not owning your shit ~ living the lie that God ~ the great I AM ~ does not live within you and you do not live within the I AM. That is a corruption of the absolute truth of the marvelous and so exquisite heart of the I AM.

Well, enough of my proselytizing. The altar boxes are coming along ~ a bit of a pain in the ass to get the finish to lay on without bubbles and unexpected glitches. I may lay this type of work aside for a little while, and begin work on my new painting. It is so crystal clear inside my head and must be put onto a perfect masonite panel that has been patiently waiting for me to find the image, and paint.
Love, C

Tuesday, March 22, 2016



I am embarking on a year long ~ 13 Moon, Year of Ceremony ~ with other shamanic practitioners from around the world. At this writing, there are over 600 people participating.
It is organized through SoundsTrue and conducted by 12 shaman elders from different traditions around the world. We all will join together in ceremony on the full moon, via live video or watched later on a taped version; since so many of us are at different time zones, watching the live version could be problematic, say 2 a.m or when you are at work. 

I feel a particular joy with this endeavor, like a vast web of light is being woven around the earth. Shamanic experience has always felt very natural and right for me. It is the platform I have built my artistic endeavors upon. An altar if you will. It is so nice to connect with those of like mind, a world community brought together in a spirit filled ceremony.

This experience will be reflected in my artwork over the coming year. I have begun a new piece already with the theme of spring rite, Ostara, Equinox, the full moon eclipse; which all coincides with the 1st moon ceremony. It is a mixed media piece. I began with designing several paper cuts, which include birds and celtic knot work, and have gessoed the board and painted the initial background stencils in "robins egg blue." 

I wish all of you well, hope that your spring is bursting forth with the promise of joy, health, wisdom, and soul. Love ~ C